I'm so tired of being here   
Suppressed by all my childish fears 
And if you have to leave 
I wish that you would just leave 
'Cause your presence still lingers here 
And it won't leave me alone 

These wounds won't seem to heal 
This pain is just too real 
There's just too much that time cannot erase 

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears 
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears 
And I held your hand through all of these years 
But you still have 
All of me 

You used to captivate me 
By your resonating life 
Now I'm bound by the life you've left behind 
Your face it haunts 
My once pleasant dreams 
Your voice it chased away 
All the sanity in me 

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone 
But though you're still with me 
I've been alone all along

تخترقنى أحداقهم حين ألتفت عنهم .. تلتصق على ظهرى أعينهم كأجهزة تنصت..

حين أتركهم و أغيب ..يملئون فراغ غيابى بكلماتهم الجافة

لا أغص بمرارتى/ فلقد فقدت حلقى ذات صرخه..لم أعد أراهم بقدر ما أرانى

مفرغة/مثقلة/رافضة/مؤمنة بى

صاخبة/غائبة/نازفة/متورطه فى

مترقبة/مراقبة/متمردة/موالية لى

حين نكتب نبحث عن متنفس لأرواحنا المختنقة...

تخنقنى الكتابة تعلقنى على مشانق البوح الظالمة تضعنى قاب قوسين أو أدنى من شنق صمتى بحبل اللفظ/فألفظ آخر أنفاس صمتى ..شهقة

 شهقة/ ..أدعوها (بوح موت).. أو موت بوح/

ثمة شىء أدركه جداً ..جداً...أننا نبوح فقط حين نحب أنفسنا بحق/ندركها نتداركها/ننصت لها نقدر آلامها حق قدرها وايضاً ،،فرحها

لكننى فقيرة ،،فقيرة لم أمتلك يوماً شرفة حب أطل بها على نفسى ولا أمتلك ثمن بنائها 

دوماً أمارس الحياد مع نفسى أقف منى بمسافة ما

أحايين أمارس جنونى وأتوقف أمامى أعرقل مسيرتى أوقفنى..ثم أستأنف طريقى بجنون جديد

بين جنونين أعيش أو أموت ..لا أكاد أجزم ..وهذا جنون ثالث

أعلم فقط وفقط

.إنى ألهث الحرف و ان كلماتى ما هى إلا محاولة لإلتقاط أنفاسى 

،،،

مشهد يستحق المشاهدة

{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}

Sean: Thought about what you said to me the other day, about my painting. Stayed up half the night thinking about it. Something occurred to me... fell into a deep peaceful sleep, and haven't thought about you since. Do you know what occurred to me?
Will: No. 
Sean: You're just a kid, you don't have the faintest idea what you're talkin' about.  
Will: Why thank you.
Sean: It's all right. You've never been out of Boston.
Will: Nope.
Sean: So if I asked you about art, you'd probably give me the skinny on every art book ever written. Michelangelo, you know a lot about him. Life's work, political aspirations, him and the pope, sexual orientations, the whole works, right? But I'll bet you can't tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel. You've never actually stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling; seen that. If I ask you about women, you'd probably give me a syllabus about your personal favorites. You may have even been laid a few times. But you can't tell me what it feels like to wake up next to a woman and feel truly happy. You're a tough kid. And I'd ask you about war, you'd probably throw Shakespeare at me, right, "once more unto the breach dear friends." But you've never been near one. You've never held your best friend's head in your lap, watch him gasp his last breath looking to you for help. I'd ask you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with her eyes, feeling like God put an angel on earth just for you. Who could rescue you from the depths of hell. And you wouldn't know what it's like to be her angel, to have that love for her, be there forever, through anything, through cancer. And you wouldn't know about sleeping sitting up in the hospital room for two months, holding her hand, because the doctors could see in your eyes, that the terms "visiting hours" don't apply to you.. You don't know about real loss, 'cause it only occurs when you've loved something more than you love yourself. And I doubt you've ever dared to love anybody that much. And look at you... I don't see an intelligent, confident man... I see a cocky, scared shitless kid. But you're a genius Will. No one denies that. No one could possibly understand the depths of you. But you presume to know everything about me because you saw a painting of mine, and you ripped my fucking life apart. You're an orphan right? [Will nods]  
Sean :You think I know the first thing about how hard your life has been, how you feel, who you are, because I read Oliver Twist? Does that encapsulate you? Personally... I don't give a shit about all that, because you know what, I can't learn anything from you, I can't read in some fuckin' book. Unless you want to talk about you, who you are. Then I'm fascinated. I'm in. But you don't want to do that do you sport?You're terrified of what you might say . Your move, chief 
 

{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}